And then there were three

As Sega conceived Sonic to compete with the icon that is Mario, so too did Sony jump on board with imagining a mascot for their brand. Of the three, it could be argued that he has done the worst. ...Ok, not really argued, it's pretty much a fact.

Eyyy!

Unlike the first two mascots I've covered, there's a significant portion of the otherwise civilized world that has no idea who this creature is. If you guessed a furry version of The Fonz, you're farther off than you should have any business being. He is in fact none other than Crash Bandicoot.

Sony seemed to step along with Sega in both creating an anthropomorphic animal as their mascot, as well as selecting a creature that many people simply have not heard of before. In this case, the Eastern-Barred Bandicoot is a native of Australia and Tasmania. An insectivorous marsupial, the bandicoot is somewhat antisocial and will only interact with females for mating.

This knowledge makes his origins a bit unsettling, since he seems to survive on the fictional Wumpa Fruit and his motivation is chasing after a female bandicoot.

Status after first game: nonexistant

Though to be fair, he was originally supposed to be a wombat. While in theory, wombats seem to be much more badass creatures than bandicoots, (skilled in crushing the skulls of predators with their asses), the actual design was...well.

Probably a good call.

Like Mario and Sonic, Crash's games started out with him being non-communicative. Unfortunately, this is not the same as silent. He tended to speak in gibberish, and make loud, high pitched "WHOA!" noises upon dying in an arbitrary fashion. But, he was fairly well received, being described as "quirky" in comparison to Sonic and Mario, whose defining attributes could be described as "attitude" and ... erm ... "jumping"?

He also boasted much more expression in his games than his predecessors- his animations and expressions were as varied as the methods by which you could die in the games, and of those, there were many. There were those who disliked his character on the whole, of course, calling him a transparent copy cat mascot. He even was able to spin in order to kill enemies, like Sonic.

I was under the impression dervishes originated in Turkey...

In spite of this, his gameplay was normally quite solid, getting reliably high ratings for a time.

Despite the best intentions, Crash never took off as a true mascot for Sony's games. This was not helped when he got...a redesign.

Eyyy!

I've been hard pressed to find any evidence of anyone in favor of the sudden shift, not just of Crash, but of the entire supporting cast.

Poor Tiny got a complete Species Reassignment

But what really makes Crash fail as a Mascot...is that he simply isn't one anymore. His games haven't been Sony exclusives for years, and he's not even developed by Naughty Dog now. He's maintained about as much Mascot integrity as Banjo.

WHYYY?!?!

However, being a bad mascot does not make one a bad character, or a bad game. There's simply a point where a character becomes nothing but a face for their own brand, rather than a company. Besides, Sony seems to be doing pretty well otherwise.

Lack of length

For the greater part of the past week, someone in my apartment complex has been leeching the bandwidth from the entire building, leaving everyone else with bare trickles of internet. I had hoped him to have been captured by the landlord by now, but sluggishness still abounds.

I will make up for my lack of thorough posting this week once the culprit has been thoroughly thwarted.

Also, if this appears more than once, it's because I'm desparately trying to get it up before bed in a window of opportunity.

...Please don't read into that sentence.

The Principle of Mascosity

For every action, there is a reaction.

For every day, there is a night.

For every good, there is an evil.

No, I'm not talking about Wario again. Not exactly.

I'm too cheap!

Sega rightly wanted in on some of the fame that Nintendo was getting with their mascot, Mario. Initial plans resulted in a spiky teal hedgehog, named "Mr. Needlemouse."

Several necessary changes were immediately made. The teal coloration was changed to match the cobalt blue of Sega's logo, much like Mario's red matched Nintendo's. His red shoes were added as a contrast, inspired by Michael Jackson. And finally, he was given the attitude of Bill Clinton.

...Wait, what?

Oh, ok, for a second I thought I was typing crazy...but, yes. Sonic has aspects of Michael Jackson and Bill Clinton. Two celebrities, the cream of the crop in their times, who have fallen perhaps just as far as Sonic himself. 

Apparently, any children between the two of them would have possessed superhuman speed

Regardless, Sonic went on to stardom. His games were not as varied as Mario's went on to be, but they were nonetheless critically acclaimed and enjoyed across the board. Unfortunately, right from the start, issues that would cripple the hedgehog's franchise for some time to come.

Sure, he got the limelight as Mario's rival, with a sizable portion of children nationwide insisting that he could kick the plumber's butt in a fair fight. His games were fun, amazing, even. But there was one crack in the foundation-

Lore.

Sure, Mario's own lore contradicted itself five ways to Sunday. But after a time, that's simply what everyone came to expect. There was no real rhyme or reason inbetween Mario games. But with Sonic, storyline was established as an integral part of the gameplay. Only problem?

The story varied drastically between the Japanese and Western markets.

In the west, Sonic fought the evil Dr. Robotnik, who had captured the inhabitants of the planet of Mobius, where Sonic made his home. It was a world devoid of humans except for Robotnik himself, an invader among a land of peaceloving furries.

But in Japan, Sonic lived on Earth. Our earth. The one you're in right now. With all the appropriated countries and people to go with it. What's more, Sonic's enemy was Eggman. Yes. Eggman. Because he looks like an egg, you see.

Fun fact: formerly Teddy Roosevelt

...Wait a minute, isn't that Michael Jackson's jacket?

...What, did Sonic and Robotnik mug MJ and split his outfit between them, playing the saxophone all the while?

But I digress. 

Of course, the question of differing lore wasn't an issue for quite some time. We were still in an era where kids only knew the parts of the story that were given to them in the cartridge and, occasionally, the instruction manual. The games were uniform enough that either could be believed.

Then the age of 3D and voice acting came along, and Sonic Adventure was released.

Suddenly, hundreds of poor European and American children were confused. It had been funny the first time Sonic called Dr. Robotnik "Eggman", it was so silly! He did look like an egg! But then...but then Robotnik started referring to himself as Eggman. Did everyone forget his name? And where were all these other people coming from? Wait, Sonic's on earth? When did that happen?! When did they leave Mobius?! Where are all his forest friends he rescued?!

Up until now, Sonic's games had been fairly solid, save for a few weird spinoff concepts. So, the strange discrepancies that no one outside Japan could quite comprehend were minimal next to the actual game.

It was around this time that Sega was struggling, thanks to the commercial failure that was the Dreamcast. Unfortunately, business forced Sega to restructure, becoming a software developer rather than a console manufacturer. And what console did Sonic's games go to?

Hey bro, can I crash here for a while?

And then, soon after Sega's shift came...Sonic Adventure 2.

At some point, Sonic Team seemed to get the idea that players were not playing Sonic games to play as Sonic. They introduced completely foreign gameplay where you could play as Tails, Knuckles, Dr. Robotnik, and brand new superfluous characters as well. Also, Knuckles was black for some reason.

Ok, after this, you take the random rap out of my levels, right?

And of course, came the introduction of Shadow the Hedgehog. AKA WangstClone Emomeier.

Let's see; Gun, Backlighting, Bloom Effects- yup, we're officially edgy!

It wasn't that Shadow's debut was bad- far from it. Along with Sonic, most agree his levels were the most enjoyable out of the entire game, (if not the only ones). He even had a somewhat interesting backstory, even if he was an inexcplicable clone of Sonic. He had history, mystery, and even got himself a heroic sacrifice at the end of the game.

Then they brought him back, gave him a gun, and tried as hard as they could to get an M rating before they realized that an anthropomorphic hedgehog was still aiming for the children's demographic.

Didn't stop them from leaving in the guns and motorcycles, of course...

Shadowangst aside, Sonic Team began on a long binge of disappointing fans, whether it was the infuriating multitasking of Sonic Heroes, the fact that Sonic 2006 was nowhere near ready for production when it was pushed, or the nonsensical, somewhat upsetting plotlines that seemed to permeate the entire company. Particularly involving the interspecies love interest.

Sonic's reaction speaks for all of us.

I can't begin to count the times I've heard of diehard Sonic fans being "cautiously optimistic" for a newly released game, since they could still taste the last one in their mouths. But, again and again, we have been disappointed. Whether by shoddy gameplay, infuriating camera physics, baffling story concepts, or just...Silver:

People like to give him high fives. On his forehead.

So why do the games keep coming? And most importantly, why do we keep buying them?

As near as I can figure, it's because Sonic's level of Mascosity is palpable.

He's unique and distinct, while his overall character concept is simple. He's a blue hedgehog in red shoes that runs fast. That even manages to beat out Mario for simplistic origins. And he has what Mario tends to lack- true personality and history, even if said history seems to be in a constant state of butchery nowadays.

In his time, he was a character that could be related to, idolized, seen as a hero. He didn't just swing his fists or bang his head to beat his enemies- he whizzed past them at blinding speed and outwitted them at every turn! He's Sonic! He's the fastest thing alive! And like it or not, his games are going to keep coming, quality or no, because damn if that little blue fuzzball doesn't sell.

The Beginning

When on the topic of video game mascots, there's no better starting point than the face of Nintendo since 1981. The red-hatted plumber, Mario.

If you don't know who this is, you are a liar.

Like most characters of his time, Mario's origins are a bit contrived and nonsensical. Shigeru Miyamoto sought out to create a best-selling title for Nintendo, trying to match the success had by titles such as Pac-man.

Miyamoto's development of Mario was as a sort of personal signature on every title he would later work on, similar to manga artists or filmmakers who would use the same characters/actors in their work. This aspect would go on to be one of Mario's defining characteristics as a mascot.

At first, Mario's role was to be done by Popeye, going up against Bluto to save Olive Oyl. Unable to obtain the licenses for the characters, Miyamoto dubbed the character Jumpman. His name would later be changed to Mr. Video, before finally being called Mario, named after an irate warehouse landlord for Nintendo of America. At first, his profession was a carpenter. However, the look of his sprite design was remarked to more resemble a plumber, and it was made so. This was reflected in his second game, "Mario Bros.", which also introduced his younger brother Luigi.

More recently known as "the gay one"

The brothers' true claim to fame, however, was their second game, forever branding the two of them as the Super Mario Bros.

How many of you know this level by heart?

The platformer style game established gameplay for generations to come, both in and out of Nintendo's own realm. It wasn't long before Mario became a well known and recognized character.

It can be said that Mario's supporting cast are even more integral to his success than the character himself. Bowser Koopa, his eternal rival, Princess Peach Toadstool, the penultimate Damsel in Distress, Yoshi, the...sticky tongued saddled dinosaur. But what makes him particularly distinct?

Counterparts.

Luigi's existence is an essential part of what makes Mario such a popular character. In later years, he has become quite distinct from Mario, but is still clearly the younger brother in the pair. In nuclear households the world over, a universal rule was soon established.

I was the second oldest in my family. You can guess how that went.

It was one thing to simply have a character on his own that punted shells and stomped goombas, but having another character, doing the same, with a bit of a different personality, it gave fans another icon to latch onto. Which only follows to have an "evil" Mario.

OH GOD ITS TEETH ARE HUGE

Wario's personality distended from Mario's even more than Luigi's, to the point where Wario now has his own game series that has absolutely nothing to do with Mario, or any other characters from the original franchise, for that matter.

But surely just a character concept isn't enough to make a lasting mascot. What else did Mario have going for him? His games had to have been good.

Well, they were. And are, for that matter.

Mario has always cast a broad net, even from his early days moonlighting as a boxing referee.

Princess Peach never approved of the rigged fights.

True to his intent, Shigeru Miyamoto plugged Mario into game after game, even when the idea of an Italian-American plumber being the protagonist didn't make the least bit of sense. Because, frankly, the concept of "sense" went out the window in Super Mario Bros., or even before then with Donkey Kong Jr., the first game to address Mario by name and his only game to show him as an antagonist.

He appeared in more than a few "Game & Watch" games, individual LCD units with one to a handful of games playable. Mario Bombs Away, Mario's Cement Factory, right up to Mario the Juggler, the last of the Game & Watch games. Even more baffling than these was his appearance as Dr. Mario. How a plumber could go from the sewers of New York to the mystical Mushroom Kingdom and still find the time to go to medical school is a topic that has baffled fans for years.

He got his degree by watching House, Scrubs, and E.R.

But the list does not stop there. Mario has quite the track record of professions.

• Plumber
• Doctor
• Demolitionist
• Cement....er
• Juggler
• Referee
• Turtle Exterminator
• Kart Racer
• Time Machinist
• Vegetable Gardener
• Barrel Jumper
• Zookeeper
• Dinosaur herder
• Pyrokinetic
• Superhero
• Raccoon
• Tanuki
• Frog
• Hammer thrower
• Invincible God-like Being
• Hotel Patron
• Typing teacher
• Tennis Player
• Golf Player
• Basketball Player
• Baseball Player
• Soccer Player
• Party Animal
• Damsel(?) in Distress
• Public Janitor
• Micro internal Surgeon
• Hip Hop Dancer
• Rock
• Trans-Galaxial Astronaut
• Warp Engine Repairman
• Bee

And all this is to say nothing of his main series of titles, where he plays the hero off to rescue (usually) Princess Peach Toadstool from (usually) King Bowser Koopa.

Because even with this gigantic list of games and roles, there is one defining characteristic.

By and large, the games are usually pretty good.

From the whimsical and expansive Super Mario World, to his 3D groundbreaker Super Mario 64, to his recent masterpiece of Super Mario Galaxy, the games Mario appears in tend to be well made, and just plain fun. Most are critically acclaimed, and even the games that repeat the Platformer formula manage to remain fresh in concept and gameplay. 

But why is Mario a central factor in all this? Why is a red plumber doing all these weird things not turning off gamers?

That can probably be attributed to nothing but pure nostalgia.

I think I just exploded a little from joy.

Mario established himself early, and has cemented his legacy in history and in the minds of gamers forever. It's unavoidable to hear certain bits of a tune and not recant back to some dot in time where a red-hatted plumber leapt about willy nilly while flinging fireballs at turtles. Being consistently full of wonder and quality, it can hardly be a mystery why Mario remains the epitome of the Video Game Mascot.